Husband Store

A new store has opened. A Husband Store!? There’s a sign at the entrance:

You may visit the Husband Store only once. There are six floors, and the value of the products increases on each successive floor. The shopper can choose any item from a particular floor, or go up to shop on the next floor, but she cannot go back down except to exit the building.

So, a woman goes into the store. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1: Men Who Have Good Jobs.

“That’s nice,” she thinks, “but I want more.” So she continues upward, where the sign reads:

Floor 2: Men Who Have Good Jobs and Love Kids.

She’s intrigued, but continues to the third floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 3: Men Who Have Good Jobs, Love Kids, and Are Extremely Handsome.

“Wow,” she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

Floor 4: Men Who Have Good Jobs, Love Kids, Are Extremely Handsome, and Help Equally with the Housework.

“It can’t get better than this!” she exclaims. But then a voice inside her asks, “Or can it?” She goes up and reads the sign.

Floor 5: Men Who Have Good Jobs, Love Kids, Are Extremely Handsome, Help Equally with the Housework, and Have a Great Sense of Humor.

Having found what she’s looking for, she’s tempted to stay, but something propels her to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 6: You are visitor 42,215,602 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor only exists to prove that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

To avoid gender bias charges, the store’s owner opened a Wife Store right across the street.

The first floor has wives who Love Sex.

The second floor has wives who Love Sex and Are Kind.

The third floor has wives who Love Sex, Are Kind, and Like Sports.

The fourth, fifth, and sixth floors have never been visited.

- Lori Gottlieb